Joseph Was Faithful

I think it is all too often that we look at all of Mary’s courage and faithfulness to God to be the earthly vessel that would give birth to Jesus, but we overlook Joseph. He is not mentioned too many times in the Gospels, and his appearances are small at best.
Joseph had already married Mary, and committed himself to her:
“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.”
-Matthew 1:18

Can anyone imagine how tough of a situation that must have been? To have your new wife be pregnant, and know that you are not the father? How difficult that must have been.

And this question definitely ran through Joseph’s mind.

“Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. “
-Matthew 1:19

The first part of the verse is that Joseph was “faithful to the law” (NIV 2010); “a just man” (KJV); “an honorable man” (GOD’s WORD Translation); “a righteous man” (NASB); “a good man” (New Century Version). Joseph followed the Lord, and kept His commands. Joseph was concerned with the law that is written, the same law that would have had his wife, Mary stoned to death for her 'illegitimate' pregnancy.

The second part of this verse that depicts Joseph’s heart is the line;
“ …and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace..”. Joseph did not want Mary to face the scorn, humiliation, the literal stoning that Mary would undertake for her pregnancy. Joseph showed Mary love by wishing to keep God’s commandments and still caring for her.

God would appear to Joseph in a dream, and would tell Joseph His plans for Mary, Joseph, Jesus, and mankind. After this, Joseph acted on what God told him:
“When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.”
-Matthew 1:24-25

This is so great, because it just shows how willing Joseph was to follow God no matter what obstacles were set before him.

I think that Joseph showed exactly what it means to be a good husband in just a few verses. Joseph showed that a husband must be a righteous man who follows the Lord in all situations, and that same man must also love his wife to do his best to keep her from danger, and to think for her.

The Importance of Christmas

I think for the longest time, I was certain that Christmas was in fact about Jesus Christ, and not the world. And I still know this to be true…but in such a more deep, and beautiful way. Simply remembering the “reason for the season” is not enough. Jesus Christ’s birth was so important, and crucial to understanding Him and His relationship to us. Our Supreme, Holy, Majestic, Amazing, Perfect, Sinless, Indescribable Lord did not come to us on the highest mountain upon a throne that we could not see Him…He came just like it says in Luke.
From the angel who appeared to the shepherds:
“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
- Luke 2:10-12
So. This is all to say that the Lord Jesus Christ came to earth wrapped in cloths, in a manger, and born to poor parents, simply for the purpose of having a relationship (and saving us from eternal damnation) with us??
How awesome of a God do we serve? When I reflected on this, it did not seem to far off from Jesus washing His disciples’ feet (and yes, Judas Iscariot’s feet too!).
All He wants to do is know us! And we must never forget that Jesus would give Himself to us on the cross thirty three years later as blameless and unblemished offering for all of our sinful souls.
Merry Christmas.

Being Transformed By The Renewing Of My Mind (Romans 12:2)

This year has been quite challenging. I apologize for not keeping you posted on how I have been. A lot has happened. A lot! I am going through challenges and trials; I’m certain. God is challenging me to grow in Him, and grow to strengthen others. Jesus Himself prayed for me. (How awesome is that?):
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."- Luke 22:31-32
He is growing me and changing me. It is quite the process. I am consistently learning and re-learning that ALL I have is Christ. Him and Him only. It gives us peace, but I dislike being so stubborn.
Let me catch you up on some epic things that have happened this year:
- I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. And in my upper room experience, Jesus Himself hugged me! It was so amazing. We serve an intimate and wonderful God! It seems as though there may be a secret, but not really. Here was my prayer, I simply pleaded, “Give me more of You, Jesus!”. That was it :)
- God has really blessed me this year. He has given me a leadership position and a true blessing with Wingate Wide Prayer. He has used me to lead that, and I don’t deserve it. I am such an awful servant. We serve a generous and merciful God. What a blessing. I have seen people cry, and be moved by the Spirit, and I have seen people’s walks develop at these meetings. God is so great.
- He has blessed me with amazing brothers in Christ this year. So wonderful. They are my best mates. I love them dearly. They share my connection with the Father, and they love me. I am so very thankful for them. Thanks be to God for them!
- I am growing in who Christ wants me to be. He has developed me to become more and more selfless, sacrificial, and generous. I am so thankful. I want to be just like Him when I grow up.
- I’m learning that I am unashamed of the gospel. It is so wonderful, how could I ever say that’s not all there is to life?? It IS Life. I love Jesus. He is my life. That’s all.
- I love my fellas on my floor. Being an RA isn’t easy, but I want them to see the love of Christ in me, and to learn how amazing He is!
- I am extending this which has been on my heart recently: To those I love, I love you. That means through the thick and thin; I have your back. I want to be that way. I don’t want to let you down..Ever. I want to be there for you.
- I am continuing to learn that I desire and want to love someone as much as Christ has loved the Church (do my best anyway). I want to give the love He has given me to someone else. Relentless, passionate, beautiful, and patient love.
- God used people to prophesy over me. He wants me to become a leader. A leader that is relatable to King David. I want to continue this new found humility that I have felt, and be the leader Christ wants me to be.

Lord Jesus,
I am so thankful for all that You have given me. I need You. I need You to fight for me, and fight my battles. I can’t do it alone. For in Deuteronomy 3:22, You said, “Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you”. I need You. Build me to be the leader that You have destined to be. Let my life be a sacrifice to You for all that You have done. Grow in me Your sacrificial, selfless, and abundant love so that I can put that into practice. Forgive me for my sins, forgive me for being myself. Create in me a clean and pure heart! I want to be pure. I want to ascend the ‘hill of the Lord’. I want to be holy. I want to be righteous. I want to be Your son. Let me love others as You have loved me. I thank You for dying my death, for letting me become righteous. Above all, thank You for being You. For being THE God!
Amen.

God Is So Good

It's been forever since I blogged last. I have been so busy with all kinds of things. I have just seen Jesus in so many ways this past month. It's crazy. I feel like I have experienced Him in ways that I have not seen before. I have wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, go to a church I love, been able to share the good news, live with freshman, and feel the Holy Spirit.. Life is good. I can surely say to you that there is a huge revival taking place at Wingate. It is far from complete, but the Spirit is just raining down on campus. I love Jesus, and I love His love.
It's so awesome how much God has provided this semester already. I have made new friends, and gained new brothers and sisters. Siblings in Christ who love me, and want me to grow. I have a job that allows me to be there for kids on my floor, and allows me to point them to Jesus.
God just wants to pour all the love He has out to us, and He wants you to be with Him. He provides. He has already provided us with Jesus Christ. And He wants to give us more?! How great is our God?
I simply want to point my eyes to the One who has given us everything, and the One who will never forsake us! I wish to be perpetually on fire for Him.
Great words to ponder:
"He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification."
- Romans 4:25
I think people find it hard to understand why I love the Lord..But, we must remember that He made the unworthy into the worthy! We were condemned by our sin, but now, because of Jesus' blood, we are righteous in the eyes of God.
God loved us when we hated Him. We hated Him because were living in sin that He detests.
The grace, and love of God can only be best demonstrated by the dire circumstances we were in because of sin.

"The love of God is stronger, Than the power of death"

Earlier today, two Wingate University students lost their lives in a car accident. This was so tragic, and so...unpredictable. It came out of nowhere, and the students had so much potential. Even though I had personally not met the two students, I felt so burdened for their families. God is perfect, and His ways are without error. I know that this was not expected but God knows what will happen, and He is in control. There is peace in the fact that all we have is God. He is our only constant. I was so burdened today for those individuals, and I had not met them. Death is a powerful thing. Reduces us to tears, anger, bitterness, sadness, distrust. I can identify with the John Mark McMillan lines; "The love of God is stronger, Than the power of death". I fully, richly, understood that today after praying with others. How petty my prayers are. There is only one thing we should worry about; our brothers and sisters' salvation. How sad that it would take such a huge event for me to really, really, understand that. I mean, I have always wished to do anything, and bold things for the Gospel. But now...how scary it is that life is that much more delicate. He loves us. That's for certain. In my sadness, God can be exalted.

I think what I want to say is, love each other. I don't tell people that enough. Christ loves us more than we can comprehend, and we all want to be loved by each other. If you love someone, you need to tell them. And, when someone tells you they love you, don't be so worried about what their agendas are. When someone says they love you, they mean it. Love doesn't need to be reciprocated. Love is a phone call. A text message . A letter. Love is a statement; it's not a conversation. How long can we go without supporting each other, and without truly saying those three words. Love is fragile. And life is more fragile. Go forth, and love.

Father, I pray to you that You will comfort those families directly affected. God, You are beautiful. You are worthy of all our praise. There are no circumstances that You would ever leave us or forsake us. You are love. I praise You, and I thank You for what You will do with us, and this campus. Yaweh, You are wonderful. I am in Your presence, and Your splendor every waking moment. Please be with all of Wingate, and all of the affected families.

Season of Confusion

I suppose this is something similar to what Ecclesiastes 3 is talking about. There will be these times, where I don't know what is going on. The last few weeks have been everywhere from good to just downright lame. I think I wasn't ready for the return home to be such a shock from my summer. We all want normalcy, right? I feel like a leaf, getting thrown by the wind sometimes. There's no way to know that I will have the normalcy that I desire. What God desires, that will be the certainty. I am just not sure of what is happening right now.

"So what, so I've got a smile on,
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head,
Don't believe me,
Don't believe me,
When I say I've got it down"
- "Why Georgia" by John Mayer

I feel this song, I know one thing though: Christ is in control. That's my comfort. I don't have it figured out, and I won't have it figured out. I know God has my best interest in mind. I know I don't need to try to make it on my own. I have found the phrase "You win some; you lose some" to be an anomaly. If by some, then I'd say I lose a lot. If the words "some" hold the same amount, then this phrase isn't really accurate. The great thing is this: God isn't human. If He was, there would be no comfort. God is above mistakes, sin, and failure. I read this today:

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"- Numbers 23:19

I will be in prayer over this, and God will sustain me. I am expectant, because I know my God delivers. I wish for Him to reveal certain things in my life, so that I can be at peace. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness.

Psalm 51: Forgive Me, God

"1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge. "
-Psalm 51: 1-4

I don't know what it is, but "my stupid mouth" is a source of prideful statements, and things that just don't need to be said. I am not properly displaying the love of Christ. I need grace.

Father, I pray that You break me of my sins. I pray that I am able to please You. I pray that You bless me, that You sustain me through the tough times. That my faith will only be strengthened by You, that You will continue to show Yourself to me. Father...enable me to bring glory to Your Kingdom; rather than bring glory to myself...I know You are an awesome God, that You are the God, and that You have saved me. I need You now.

Only God Knows..(And I don't)

I feel like the biggest, most monumental thing that has happened since returning from Summer Beach Project would be nothing. I feel so unproductive. I am meeting with the Lord in His Word, but I long for conversations with fellow believers. I long for activities. It's kind of funny how much I wished to rest while at Project, and now, I'd rather be busy all the time. That bubble I was in...remarkable. Quite the culture shock when I returned to home.
I sure hope it's just boredom, but I am really looking forward to going back to school. I know that school will bring challenges, but it is where I want to be.
What will this year hold academically, only God knows. And, if friends shouldn't return to school this year...I have no control over that. I will miss them. I am in no way completely at peace with that, but the Lord knows what is best for them, me, and our school.
The Lord knows what's best. Even better is the lesson that I have a hard time learning; the only consistency in my life is Christ. Outside of Him and left up to my emotions...it's up and down from day to day, month to month, and most certainly year to year.

Father, I wish I could be constantly fulfilled in You enough that I wouldn't wish I was at a different place in my life. That, where You have me, is the best place for me to be. And fill my life with You, so that I am not trying to find life outside of You, because You are LIFE. I pray that I will gain courage to face my days as they come, and not look ahead to a time when it will be simpler or easier.

Listen to some Mayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8_Y_1psB6g&feature=related

Jesus Is My Life. ישו הוא בחיים שלי

So, coming off the best summer of my life, I have experienced Jesus Christ in many ways, and this blog has to contain all of that information, right?
Well, it's not that simple. I have learned way too much, and really, I will need time to process all of that. There are many things that distinctly stand out in how I have learned about our Savior though.
One is this prayer:
"9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
- 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

I read a book on that prayer right before Summer Beach Project ( ironically, I lost it at Summer Beach Project, I hope someone found it & prayed that to God). I never really tried to pray that verbatim, but I used it. I prayed that God would give me opportunities to share His gospel...and He did...within hours or minutes. I would pray for protection...and He provided it. I would pray for His blessing...and I am blessed every minute. Not saying that this prayer is the quick fix prayer, or "Prayer for dummies".
But, ultimately, God showed me this summer that anytime I want to do something that will glorify His Name or His Kingdom, God gives me an abundance of opportunities, and for some strange reason, He wishes to use me in His grand plan and in His Will.

Another thing I have seen is the description of who I am. It used to be this: "I love Christ and the Cross, I play music, I love music...I love John Mayer, The Killers, and alternative rock....I enjoy sports, and...". Now...
I count that all as loss!
It's not like I didn't love Jesus Christ, or that I was lost, it is simply that now, the only real joy, the only real love I hold is described in Christ. His Death, Resurrection, and Holy Spirit are my life. I know that all good things are from Christ Jesus, and my life is a living sacrifice.
Oh, how I love Jesus Christ.
I found a Psalm that says it all: " I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." - Psalm 16:2
Nothing. I have no good thing.

I have enjoyed the fellowship I was a part of at Summer Beach Project; maybe it's a sample of Heaven?
I wish I was back at Project, a day later I write this. But, my purpose for going was not for myself, but for the glory of Christ, and with this experience, I will be part of the Holy Spirit's change of Wingate University.

Father, thank you for bringing me to Summer Beach Project. The knowledge I have gained will only help me further Your Kingdom. I thank You for using others who spent time with me so that I may grow up in You. I thank You for the gospel of Your Son. And please, help me to die to myself, and be resurrected in You, and may I shine a light, that people will see myself as a life that is living for you. Thank You, Father.

Jesus Christ Dwells In My Heart

I tell you, it doesn't get much better than to follow Him. Obviously, I initially would like to thank God for sending Jesus Christ and dying my death for me..But, He also has changed me inside and out. It's truly amazing. Letting Jesus be your light source in a dark world is like using a spotlight. Living off the world is like using a broken key-chain flashlight.
It's funny, honestly. If anyone knows me longer than this past year, they would recall my thoughts on books. On my Facebook profile, I once listed "TV was made so I would not have to read". I now gain encouragement and Truth from the Bible. I am compelled to read it. I also enjoy reading other books about Christianity. Earlier today, I was reading a book called "Who Says?" edited by Fritz Ridenour. Ridenour was an author who is credited with giving me an interest in actually wanting to finish a book. One Christmas (probably when I was 12 or 13), I recieved a book called "So What's The Difference?". The book compares other religions, and points to how Jesus is the only one that makes sense. I finished that book within a short amount of time. And I have read it more than once. I am also spending time reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis. Books? Only through Christ would I wish to read. Funny, but learning about Him has given me a curiosity that cannot be tamed.
Music. Let me tell you. I recall a time in my life when Christian music was something I did not think I could want to listen to. Christian music came to life for me with Sufjan Stevens' cover of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing", John Mark McMillan's "How He Loves", Phil Wickham's "Divine Romance", and Hillsong's "Hosanna". When you feel the Holy Spirit, these songs can be felt in a way that once had not. Music about Christ seems to be the only music that says something.
Discussions have changed for me, too. God conversations are simply the best. Music, television, all of our worldly discussions cannot hold a candle to talking about Jesus, God's love, and our personal walks with Him. I could talk about Him for hours. No kidding. Christ is what I wish to talk about.
An increase in compassion has been evident also. Christ's love. There's only one. But, we are called to try to love as He loved. It's so pure, perfect, and sacrificing. Giving love and not expecting it. That's love.

The point of this post was to show beyond the obvious salvation I have found only in Jesus Christ, and to show He has changed me through and through.

"14 For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"-2 Corinthians 5:14-17

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?"- Psalm 42:2

"Christ loved you enough to die for you. Now love Him enough to live for Him!"- The back of my 7th grade CYC shirt. (I'd love to know who said it, I love that quote)

It's quite simple. God is my fulfillment. He is your Savior. He is mine. He loves us.

Father, I thank you for first sending Your Son, Jesus. He died my sinner's death. And He conquered death. Through Your Son, I thank you for the the fact that Your Spirit dwells inside of me. You have changed me, and I only wish to be closer to You. I only want to continue to follow You. I want to be different. I thank You alone for the changes.

Something Lite; Nothing Heavy

This post is a light one, when you look at my others.
I think, I want to be in a sweet band. Sounds like something I have wanted for a while. But, I know what I want. A band that sings about Jesus. And has songs that are about faith.
Even though I play drums, I love me some folk music. I don't know. 1 acoustic guitar +1 person +1 story= epic stuff. My love for folk music came when I discovered Bob Dylan. The storytelling. It's got a hold on me. If you can't tell, I now have a big love for John Mark McMillan. He's got it all. Folk, alternative, worship. Quite honestly, I'd love to play drums for him. His band is fantastic.
Another side of me loves alternative/new wave/post-punk revival. U2, The Killers, Coldplay, Kings of Leon, The Smiths, The Pretenders, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs..and...Blondie (why not?) are all great groups. The dance element that comes from their music is fantastic. I'd love make some music like that. I think a delay pedal, Fender guitars, good tempos, and lastly but not least a great message (that message would be about our Lord & Savior of course!) would be a great thing to be a part of.
I dislike having to look for God in my favorite secular groups. I will say, The Killers' Day & Age album had solid, Christian elements in it. And I have enjoyed it more than other people who listen to The Killers. Coldplay's Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends is not really as Christian as I thought it may be. I think what I have learned is; the mere idea of there being a God is a wild concept for the average person. It's almost not real to them in some aspects.
But what I know is that there is a God, who sent His son to die for our wickedness, and He loves us more than we can understand. And with that being said...I want to write, play, record, and perform music about Jesus, forgiveness, the struggles and rewards of faith, and God's abundant love.

Anyway, it's 4:00am...

God...hold me now.

Recent times would say life is great. Past transgressions hold me down. I know God still loves me...but how can He forgive me? I am not perfect. And there's no works I can ever do to make things right with the Creator of the universe. Nothin' but the blood of Jesus will save me. I am here. Thankful. Blessed. I am looking to God. As a mere human...I let Him down. And He loves me even still.

"We are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking, So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss, And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about, the way…"- How He Loves~ John Mark McMillan

(And yes, another John Mark McMillan quote....he's awesome.)

Paul says what I need to hear:
" 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."-Philippians 3:12-14

And this is what I will do. Do like Paul. It's not easy. Continuing to grow, I will learn more and become more like Christ. We are little Christs. I will look to Christ Jesus. I will strain toward what is to come.

God, I know Your Son cleaned my slate, and washed my sin away. But, these regrets...please help me overcome them. Your approval is the only approval I will ever want. Please Father, forgive me.

This End is a new Beginning.

God has done so many amazing things in me this year. He really is jealous for me. I am amazed, and shocked at what I have been missing out on all these years. Life without God...I regret it. But now, I am a new creation. And more than anything, I am His creation. I am so very thankful for this year and the blessings God gave me. I have a family at Wingate that loves me more than I could have asked for. Friends that I laugh with. And many, many great Christians to talk to about our walks with Jesus. I was one of those kids who did not want to leave school. I don't know. I just was on the thought process of "My school year= daily, amazing blessings from God...and if I go to school at Wingate...then it's always a good place to be, right?". But, no fear. God's always blessing me. I just grew so much this year. I cannot wait for Summer Beach Project. I heard that place was "legit" as the kids say. I also anxiously await next school year as a Residence Assistant. That will be sweet.
I can't wait for God's plans in my life. I heard Tim Tebow say, "I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. But I know Who holds my future. And in that there's success, in that there's comfort, and in that there's peace." I liked his testimony.
I will cling to these verses:
"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."-Jeremiah 29:11-13

I thank God for saving me. I thank Him for loving me, even though I'm a sinner. I thank Him for forgiving me & sending Jesus Christ. I thank Him for being so big, but caring about little me. I thank Him for the plans He has for me. I love God for everything.

Humbled before God...

It's always an awesome feeling for me to look at the sky, and just realize how big the universe is. Wait...what do you mean I can't imagine how big God or the universe is? I can't...God can though. And to think that He always had His arms open for me to run to...that's a humbling notion.
"Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. "- Genesis 1:2

That's the second verse of the Bible. Our land was empty. Bleak. Dark.
I liken this to us as Christians before Christ as well. Christ breathes life into us when we accept Him as our Savior.

I wish I could return the favor of love that God shows me every second...
This is what I strive to do:
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship."- Romans 12:1

I love God. I want to serve Him everyday of my life. That's all I can say. I am humbled.

Real talk. Being honest..we can do that right?

There are so many emotions flying around these past few weeks. It's like if you were to ask me what's up on Monday, my answer would differ from that of Tuesday. I need Jesus. He's all we ever need, and He should be our happiness, motivation, and topic of discussion. I see some things that do not make sense to me, and I wish to see these all change. Prayer is key.

Campus. Honestly, I want to support everyone. I hope people know this. We are all here to worship Jesus, in different ways. Let's be little Christs. Let's accurately represent God as just, loving, and compassionate about our lives. Let's care for each other(and organizations) as Christ loved us. That is unconditional. I hope one day, we can all be one body of Christ at Wingate. Keep Wingate University in prayers.

America. Look around us. It's not right out there. I am not one to cry wolf here, but the world is a terrible place. Death, destruction, falseness. We shouldn't be of it. Especially as Christians. We should strive for better. For love, and Christ in His entirety. Our troops are overseas fighting in wars/conflicts right now. It's a real thing that they are dying for our American liberties. Here's something I am going to pray for: America. And our soldiers who are fighting.

Christians. As Christians, unity is a huge detractor these days. We have built up walls. Unifying each other in Christ, and in God's Word is crucial. We must separate ourselves from the world. Paul is my favorite person behind Jesus in the Bible (just in case you wanted to know).
" 17Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body." - Philippians 3:17-21

Pray for Christians. Pray for ourselves to truly look to God, and His word.
One last thing: Revelation in the Bible is a real thing. Not just a crazy, weird, irrelevant dream John had one night. My friend has investigated this extensively. Check it out: http://sites.google.com/site/final7years/


These are just the things that have been weighing on me.
And... As I write this, the Red Sox are 1-2. Thanks to the Yankees. Go Sox.

Blessed: His Love Can't Be Stopped.

There are these times when I just cannot understand why I do the things I do. I really messed up. I feel awful. And in several ways, I asked God how He could call me His child. When He should be ashamed of me. When I shouldn't be allowed to say I am a follower. His grace endures. Tonight at Breathe, I just listened to what He had to say. I opened my ears to His words. I heard a few things; "You are My son, I forgive you...."Kyle, I love you". It was a weight off my shoulders. How can I let Him down daily, hourly, by the second and He still love me so much? I will never get it. Maybe it is time I accept it. It sure is hard when He gave His life so that I may breathe. It is my only, and natural response that I use what He has given me, and I use these things to glorify Him. That I worship Him. I want to serve Him, as I am called. I am also forgiven as written in I John 1:9; " If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

When I think I can do no worse, He catches me in my sinful falls anyway. John Mark McMillan wrote it best in my favorite worship song, "How He Loves". He said; "Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking, So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss, And the heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don't have time to maintain these regrets, When I think about, the way He loves us"


Dear God, thanks. I want to do everything in my power to worship You all the time. It is my tiny, and only response to You dying for me, to You loving me unconditionally.

God's Plans? (Back to the Future)

I wish I could see exactly what God was going to do with my life. It's one of those things where I know what I want in my life for a day or so, and then I disagree if that's what is best. I originally wanted to come to college to study Sports Management, land a sweet internship, and have an easy, "normal" life. October made my normal plans seem boring, seem average. I fully committed my life to Christ then, and since my life has flipped all around. Friendships. Relationships. Goals. Music. Conversation. Purpose. While this seems confusing(it can be), I know it's the balance of life. God is the balance. He puts everything in real perspective. I love God, when He is the only one who always has my back. It is too often that people let me down, and I feel like I only let people down sometimes. Anyway, how awesome would it be to see just exactly what He wants to do with my life right now? And then, I could just go back to the past after I saw my future. I am slowly learning the joys of life: good music, meaningful friendships, Bible studies/ God conversations, talking to God, fruition of prayer, and telling people what God has done in my life. Unfortunately, school work, early mornings, disagreements, lack of musical ability, and failing God(even though He loves me anyway) don't really make me feel like life is going great. It is always easier to look back at your past, and say "Well, that was not fun, but...hey, it sure did pay off, right?"I want to see myself in 3-4 years saying that. It is not easy to say well I know just what my tribulations/issues now are for. Oh well, there is nothing my God can't help me with. He is always here.

Lucid Thoughts, Little Sleep, Lots of John Mayer's Stratocaster

I have been thinking a lot. I went to the John Mayer concert. Pretty much the icing of the stale cake that has been the past few weeks. Amazing. Anyway, I watched the opening act, Michael Franti & Spearhead. Not saying they were not good, but there is that feeling/moment where you ask yourself this: "Why can't I being playing music here...right now? I could do that, and be better." Not saying I am an amazing musician by any stretch, but who is to say I cannot do it? It's fun to dream about, especially when you play music with others, and you think there is that glimmer of hope or whatever that you could be it. There is the unrest with the "normal", the anxious moments that grab you when you are in school. We will see how it goes, but I guess I am just being 19 here. On a side note, Steve Jordan didn't make me think I could be successful. John Mayer's singing and playing is one of a kind, and to think I could be in a band like that is silly. But, "who says" I can't dream?

Text Messaging. Easy. Awful.

I cannot fully say that text messaging is a horrible thing. I use it for keeping in contact with people. Quick, easy socializing. It's good. I am constantly having to talk to someone. At any rate, I am discovering how horrible text messages are. I can text joy, anxiety, and anger very easily. But my relationships through texts are never the same as a face to face conversation. Recently, I have found myself to be in disagreements. Things were said that maybe shouldn't have been, but when I was able to talk to that person face to face, I discovered that my impressions were largely in my head. It's just funny how a text can create a whole entire, new, and sometimes awkward situation, when really, there may not be as many issues as I thought. I think a thing to avoid is developing, and limiting relationships to text messaging. This is really detrimental to ever understanding someone. Half of the time, understanding someone's point of view is distorted in a text. Not to mention, the ability to hold and lock texts can be a whole new dilemna. Suddenly, someone can hold quotes over someone's head. And in a normal conversation, the quote might not even be remembered.
So, long story short. If you have a friendship, make sure you interact with that person in other ways than text. For lack of better terms, it is quite lame. Sometimes, you can go from the most ridiculous sad, angry, upset state, and then you can see that person, and you somehow wonder why you were even upset. Don't do too much thinking. Know that "ya", "idk", "lol" don't hold too much water in a real conversation. Let the other person say exactly what they mean, and don't worry too much.

Love & I

There is not much to say. We can call ourselves unique. But really, some of us like the same music, television. hobbies, and we are all the same. I strive to do something that very few seem to understand. Love is an overused word. We use it for when we wish to recieve. When really, giving love is what we are called to do. How sappy is it that I write of love when I first create a blog? Anyway. I find myself to be more misunderstood everyday. I honestly find purpose in loving people. John 13:34-35 says it all for me: "34A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
So, am I not just doing as I was told, and doing what I need to do? I am always waiting for people to tell me what's on their minds. Sure, it may seem strange that I want to do so. But, I find joy in being there for people. It's hard to understand I suppose. In another book of John(John Mayer that is), from a live perfomance of his cover of "Bold as Love", Mayer said; "I've done everything in my life that I've wanted to do except just give and feel love for my living. And I don't mean like, uh, Roman candle, fireworks, Hollywood hot pink love. I mean, like, "I got your back"-love. I don't need to hear "I love ya." You guys love me. I love you. We got that down. But some of the people who would tell you they love ya were the last people to just have your back. So I'm gonna experiment with this love thing. Giving love. Feeling love. I know it's corny but it's the last thing I've got to check out before I check out."
With that, we can all say, yes. That's spot on. For me anyway. So, if you ever want to pin me down to what I am all about, it comes down to me just wanting to love people. That's all it is. If you think my motives rest in something other than that, then you are just wrong. When Christ extended His love for us, we owe it to Him to give our love to each other. The Creator asks, we should deliver.