A Rough Beginning; A Hopeful Ending

It has been awhile since I have blogged. It has been a very difficult transition from graduation. I did not anticipate still being unemployed so close to my birthday, nor did I anticipate an end to a relationship, or that life would be so hard. It’s one thing to be in the will of God and to think you are. Often, I dabble in my beliefs of where I am at.  I am in His Will, not because the world is handed to me, but because of the relationship I have with Him.  When things just seem to go wrong, you have to look at yourself.  You certainly can’t blame people (been there), blame God (been there for sure) or your circumstances (seems to be a reoccurring theme).  It’s been a hard summer/beginning to fall.  Not having a job is hard, especially when you are sincere in your efforts and in your motives (meaning you’ve prayed about, not saying your motives are the purest thing).  Giving all you have to someone is also difficult when that relationship has run into the cliffs of another’s decision. 

I hope that introduction has set the stage for the rest of this post.  It’s been mighty difficult, but there is much hope in the midst of it. As there always is.  With every trial, comes ample and adequate Hope attached to it.  I’m beginning to learn how fickle I really am.  I used to believe I was consistent, but now I see more to myself than before. I see how quickly I point the finger at the Father. “But, the timing?! But, my feelings?! But…” And that’s gotten me nowhere. Rather, it’s resting in the character of God that keeps me afloat.  To go back to the Cross in a different way and to be able to believe because of the Resurrection is what I’m learning to do. There’s a huge gulf between what has been spoken and what is felt in the present.  God speaks on His own authority.

 Just like in Genesis 22:16-18:

“…By myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son,  I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, ^and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.”

So, there’s that Truth to rest in. It’s not a void word we can put our Hope in. It’s an accurate Truth.  God is an accurate God; He is a Father that will pursue His children until what He has said will be done.  It’s a battle to believe that sometimes when the anxiety is knocking on your door.  I am presently reading Hosea.  In the very first chapter, God tells Hosea to marry a whore, named Gomer.  We know this story.  God says marry her, and this will mirror the love of God to the Israelites. But there’s a lot more.  God tells Hosea to name his children names that are really a drag. Names that mean, “Not My People”, No Mercy”, “Not Pitied”, etc.  But the very first child, Jezreel is really interesting. This name is different.   Jezreel means “God soweth".  That is, in the midst of their prostitution, God was going to sow a seed much larger than they could see.  That would grow out of His own love, His own power and through His presence.  This has encouraged me quite a bit in the middle of not understanding what’s going on in my own life, I can take refuge that God is sowing a seed much larger than I can imagine, see or understand that will reap huge success later on in my life. 

Additionally, the Boston Red Sox have won the World Series (YES!).  The Sox are my favorite team, but I am firm in belief that the Lord used this team to encourage me a lot.  In 2012, the Red Sox ended the season with a record of 69–93, finishing in last place in the American League East for the first time since 1992, and as the third worst team in the American League.  In 2013, they finished as the best team in the league, winning the World Series.  I remember in March of 2013 stating that this team made me unsure if they would be much better.  They signed a few guys who seemed to be on the tail end of their career, hired a new manager, and of course faced a hard division.  But, they won it all.  Let me connect these dots.  When the Red Sox handed over authority to a better manager, added new players to the lineup, and were under the belief that they could finish as champions.  How much greater is our inheritance when we surrender control, are open to change in our life, and have belief that God can change our circumstances?  It’s infinitely different & better. 

I hope that this was encouraging and it helped in some kind of way. He will finish what He has started, and He isn’t afraid to dig in with you in the mean time.