Forgiveness & Atonement: How We Don't Really Forgive

Just today, I was convicted pretty good about the idea of forgiving others & still trying to make them "atone" for what they've done to hurt us.  This seems drastic, but I'm pretty sure everyone struggles with this.  It's the idea that "I forgive them. However, when it comes to that day, they had better apologize for 'x', 'y', and 'z'.  And I want them to truly feel what was done to me. Otherwise, it's not going to work."  This is the subconscious, I don't really believe anyone actually verbalizes these things.  They are the underlying message that is being projected when true forgiveness hasn't happened. 
I didn't really know what the standard, dictionary definition of atonement was. So, being responsible and not writing a blog without a good definition, I googled this.

"a·tone·ment  (-tnmnt)

n.

1. Amends or reparation made for an injury or wrong; expiation.

2.

a. Reconciliation or an instance of reconciliation between God and humans.

b. Atonement Christianity The reconciliation of God and humans brought about by the redemptive life and death of Jesus.

3. Obsolete Reconciliation; concord."

 

That's heavy. I thought it was interesting that even a secular source noted Jesus Christ, and the relationship between God and man. So, we see here that amends, reparation is made by Jesus in the most impossible way at Calvary. As Christians, our forgiveness should never leave this truth, and should never deviate from Jesus and who He is. Forgiveness is empowered by the Holy Spirit, and atonement is always handled at the Cross of Christ. He completes us; both the wronged and those who have done the wrong.  It's faith in Him to bring about the reconciliation that lasts, that is free of sin, that is free of guilt, and not our own ability to make someone pay for what they have done to us. He is the mender of hearts, the healer that we all long for and need.

Our love is conditional when we make another atone for what they did to us.  Firstly, let's be honest with ourselves; they couldn't have done what was done by us to Jesus! Secondly, we aren't trusting in the Lord, but we are instead trusting in our own selfishness and revenge to make things right.  This is contrary to the Spirit and will damage any relationship. 

We have to remember that the God of the universe saw atonement much differently than us, and His example has provided us with a Kingdom mindset. Additionally, the flesh mindset does not comprehend a resurrection.  There's no way we can have a resurrected, reconciled relationship without the love of God found in Jesus. 

So, let's do a better job of loving each other and allowing God to reconcile things in His love, not in our flesh.