Love & Refuge

I suppose there is a degree to which I am really scared about life.  I want to do so many things, be many places, impact many people, and see awesome things.  I don’t think anyone can say they aren’t scared of their future.  If they weren’t they’d be perfect.  I know everything is planned out.  I know there is an Architect in heaven who loves me and holds my future.  I have found so much shelter in the presence of God.  It’s a home when “home” doesn’t offer much security.  I don’t think I need Saul to be after me, trying to kill me, while I’m hiding in a cave like David to know that God is a beautiful Refuge.  I have seen Him be my refuge even when I’m alright.

 “This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him”- Psalm 18:30

 I have been discovering just how beautiful Jesus is. I’m growing to learn that this life is far but easy, far but free from hurt.  But walking with Jesus is for now, and forever.  Even when I’m weak, He is strong.  I think the lie to men (and women for that matter) of being strong, tough and not letting things phase you is one of the biggest hindrances of our thought life, prayer life, and social life.  There is a balance, a tension, between being strong before men for the sake of not being involved in pity and drama.  The other side is storing emotions and compartmentalizing, of which is the enemy’s convenient way of hindering our walk, worship, and love for others. 

Speak truth. So hard to do sometimes. Hard to receive, and sometimes just as hard to speak.  We go through enough in this life that we need to speak out what we feel and how we feel, or we’re just robots with a super human strength, of which, no one really has.  

And when no one understands, Jesus surely does.  Like a Friend you’ve never had, like a Lover who isn’t afraid of your dirty clothes, like a Brother who is with you through it all. Jesus is good.

In a song simply titled, “Spontaneous Song” (how charismatic can you make that one?), Kim Walker-Smith sings “I am my Beloved’s and He is mine” countless times in between speaking in heavenly tongues. 

We have a love that’s truer than all reality, and if God spoke into your heart, then it’s your job to answer back.