This year has been quite challenging. I apologize for not keeping you posted on how I have been. A lot has happened. A lot! I am going through challenges and trials; I’m certain. God is challenging me to grow in Him, and grow to strengthen others. Jesus Himself prayed for me. (How awesome is that?):
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."- Luke 22:31-32
He is growing me and changing me. It is quite the process. I am consistently learning and re-learning that ALL I have is Christ. Him and Him only. It gives us peace, but I dislike being so stubborn.
Let me catch you up on some epic things that have happened this year:
- I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. And in my upper room experience, Jesus Himself hugged me! It was so amazing. We serve an intimate and wonderful God! It seems as though there may be a secret, but not really. Here was my prayer, I simply pleaded, “Give me more of You, Jesus!”. That was it :)
- God has really blessed me this year. He has given me a leadership position and a true blessing with Wingate Wide Prayer. He has used me to lead that, and I don’t deserve it. I am such an awful servant. We serve a generous and merciful God. What a blessing. I have seen people cry, and be moved by the Spirit, and I have seen people’s walks develop at these meetings. God is so great.
- He has blessed me with amazing brothers in Christ this year. So wonderful. They are my best mates. I love them dearly. They share my connection with the Father, and they love me. I am so very thankful for them. Thanks be to God for them!
- I am growing in who Christ wants me to be. He has developed me to become more and more selfless, sacrificial, and generous. I am so thankful. I want to be just like Him when I grow up.
- I’m learning that I am unashamed of the gospel. It is so wonderful, how could I ever say that’s not all there is to life?? It IS Life. I love Jesus. He is my life. That’s all.
- I love my fellas on my floor. Being an RA isn’t easy, but I want them to see the love of Christ in me, and to learn how amazing He is!
- I am extending this which has been on my heart recently: To those I love, I love you. That means through the thick and thin; I have your back. I want to be that way. I don’t want to let you down..Ever. I want to be there for you.
- I am continuing to learn that I desire and want to love someone as much as Christ has loved the Church (do my best anyway). I want to give the love He has given me to someone else. Relentless, passionate, beautiful, and patient love.
- God used people to prophesy over me. He wants me to become a leader. A leader that is relatable to King David. I want to continue this new found humility that I have felt, and be the leader Christ wants me to be.
Lord Jesus,
I am so thankful for all that You have given me. I need You. I need You to fight for me, and fight my battles. I can’t do it alone. For in Deuteronomy 3:22, You said, “Do not be afraid of them; the LORD your God himself will fight for you”. I need You. Build me to be the leader that You have destined to be. Let my life be a sacrifice to You for all that You have done. Grow in me Your sacrificial, selfless, and abundant love so that I can put that into practice. Forgive me for my sins, forgive me for being myself. Create in me a clean and pure heart! I want to be pure. I want to ascend the ‘hill of the Lord’. I want to be holy. I want to be righteous. I want to be Your son. Let me love others as You have loved me. I thank You for dying my death, for letting me become righteous. Above all, thank You for being You. For being THE God!
Amen.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
God Is So Good
It's been forever since I blogged last. I have been so busy with all kinds of things. I have just seen Jesus in so many ways this past month. It's crazy. I feel like I have experienced Him in ways that I have not seen before. I have wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, go to a church I love, been able to share the good news, live with freshman, and feel the Holy Spirit.. Life is good. I can surely say to you that there is a huge revival taking place at Wingate. It is far from complete, but the Spirit is just raining down on campus. I love Jesus, and I love His love.
It's so awesome how much God has provided this semester already. I have made new friends, and gained new brothers and sisters. Siblings in Christ who love me, and want me to grow. I have a job that allows me to be there for kids on my floor, and allows me to point them to Jesus.
God just wants to pour all the love He has out to us, and He wants you to be with Him. He provides. He has already provided us with Jesus Christ. And He wants to give us more?! How great is our God?
I simply want to point my eyes to the One who has given us everything, and the One who will never forsake us! I wish to be perpetually on fire for Him.
Great words to ponder:
"He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification."
- Romans 4:25
I think people find it hard to understand why I love the Lord..But, we must remember that He made the unworthy into the worthy! We were condemned by our sin, but now, because of Jesus' blood, we are righteous in the eyes of God.
God loved us when we hated Him. We hated Him because were living in sin that He detests.
The grace, and love of God can only be best demonstrated by the dire circumstances we were in because of sin.
It's so awesome how much God has provided this semester already. I have made new friends, and gained new brothers and sisters. Siblings in Christ who love me, and want me to grow. I have a job that allows me to be there for kids on my floor, and allows me to point them to Jesus.
God just wants to pour all the love He has out to us, and He wants you to be with Him. He provides. He has already provided us with Jesus Christ. And He wants to give us more?! How great is our God?
I simply want to point my eyes to the One who has given us everything, and the One who will never forsake us! I wish to be perpetually on fire for Him.
Great words to ponder:
"He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification."
- Romans 4:25
I think people find it hard to understand why I love the Lord..But, we must remember that He made the unworthy into the worthy! We were condemned by our sin, but now, because of Jesus' blood, we are righteous in the eyes of God.
God loved us when we hated Him. We hated Him because were living in sin that He detests.
The grace, and love of God can only be best demonstrated by the dire circumstances we were in because of sin.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
"The love of God is stronger, Than the power of death"
Earlier today, two Wingate University students lost their lives in a car accident. This was so tragic, and so...unpredictable. It came out of nowhere, and the students had so much potential. Even though I had personally not met the two students, I felt so burdened for their families. God is perfect, and His ways are without error. I know that this was not expected but God knows what will happen, and He is in control. There is peace in the fact that all we have is God. He is our only constant. I was so burdened today for those individuals, and I had not met them. Death is a powerful thing. Reduces us to tears, anger, bitterness, sadness, distrust. I can identify with the John Mark McMillan lines; "The love of God is stronger, Than the power of death". I fully, richly, understood that today after praying with others. How petty my prayers are. There is only one thing we should worry about; our brothers and sisters' salvation. How sad that it would take such a huge event for me to really, really, understand that. I mean, I have always wished to do anything, and bold things for the Gospel. But now...how scary it is that life is that much more delicate. He loves us. That's for certain. In my sadness, God can be exalted.
I think what I want to say is, love each other. I don't tell people that enough. Christ loves us more than we can comprehend, and we all want to be loved by each other. If you love someone, you need to tell them. And, when someone tells you they love you, don't be so worried about what their agendas are. When someone says they love you, they mean it. Love doesn't need to be reciprocated. Love is a phone call. A text message . A letter. Love is a statement; it's not a conversation. How long can we go without supporting each other, and without truly saying those three words. Love is fragile. And life is more fragile. Go forth, and love.
Father, I pray to you that You will comfort those families directly affected. God, You are beautiful. You are worthy of all our praise. There are no circumstances that You would ever leave us or forsake us. You are love. I praise You, and I thank You for what You will do with us, and this campus. Yaweh, You are wonderful. I am in Your presence, and Your splendor every waking moment. Please be with all of Wingate, and all of the affected families.
I think what I want to say is, love each other. I don't tell people that enough. Christ loves us more than we can comprehend, and we all want to be loved by each other. If you love someone, you need to tell them. And, when someone tells you they love you, don't be so worried about what their agendas are. When someone says they love you, they mean it. Love doesn't need to be reciprocated. Love is a phone call. A text message . A letter. Love is a statement; it's not a conversation. How long can we go without supporting each other, and without truly saying those three words. Love is fragile. And life is more fragile. Go forth, and love.
Father, I pray to you that You will comfort those families directly affected. God, You are beautiful. You are worthy of all our praise. There are no circumstances that You would ever leave us or forsake us. You are love. I praise You, and I thank You for what You will do with us, and this campus. Yaweh, You are wonderful. I am in Your presence, and Your splendor every waking moment. Please be with all of Wingate, and all of the affected families.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Season of Confusion
I suppose this is something similar to what Ecclesiastes 3 is talking about. There will be these times, where I don't know what is going on. The last few weeks have been everywhere from good to just downright lame. I think I wasn't ready for the return home to be such a shock from my summer. We all want normalcy, right? I feel like a leaf, getting thrown by the wind sometimes. There's no way to know that I will have the normalcy that I desire. What God desires, that will be the certainty. I am just not sure of what is happening right now.
"So what, so I've got a smile on,
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head,
Don't believe me,
Don't believe me,
When I say I've got it down"
- "Why Georgia" by John Mayer
I feel this song, I know one thing though: Christ is in control. That's my comfort. I don't have it figured out, and I won't have it figured out. I know God has my best interest in mind. I know I don't need to try to make it on my own. I have found the phrase "You win some; you lose some" to be an anomaly. If by some, then I'd say I lose a lot. If the words "some" hold the same amount, then this phrase isn't really accurate. The great thing is this: God isn't human. If He was, there would be no comfort. God is above mistakes, sin, and failure. I read this today:
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"- Numbers 23:19
I will be in prayer over this, and God will sustain me. I am expectant, because I know my God delivers. I wish for Him to reveal certain things in my life, so that I can be at peace. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness.
"So what, so I've got a smile on,
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head,
Don't believe me,
Don't believe me,
When I say I've got it down"
- "Why Georgia" by John Mayer
I feel this song, I know one thing though: Christ is in control. That's my comfort. I don't have it figured out, and I won't have it figured out. I know God has my best interest in mind. I know I don't need to try to make it on my own. I have found the phrase "You win some; you lose some" to be an anomaly. If by some, then I'd say I lose a lot. If the words "some" hold the same amount, then this phrase isn't really accurate. The great thing is this: God isn't human. If He was, there would be no comfort. God is above mistakes, sin, and failure. I read this today:
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"- Numbers 23:19
I will be in prayer over this, and God will sustain me. I am expectant, because I know my God delivers. I wish for Him to reveal certain things in my life, so that I can be at peace. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Psalm 51: Forgive Me, God
"1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge. "
-Psalm 51: 1-4
I don't know what it is, but "my stupid mouth" is a source of prideful statements, and things that just don't need to be said. I am not properly displaying the love of Christ. I need grace.
Father, I pray that You break me of my sins. I pray that I am able to please You. I pray that You bless me, that You sustain me through the tough times. That my faith will only be strengthened by You, that You will continue to show Yourself to me. Father...enable me to bring glory to Your Kingdom; rather than bring glory to myself...I know You are an awesome God, that You are the God, and that You have saved me. I need You now.
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge. "
-Psalm 51: 1-4
I don't know what it is, but "my stupid mouth" is a source of prideful statements, and things that just don't need to be said. I am not properly displaying the love of Christ. I need grace.
Father, I pray that You break me of my sins. I pray that I am able to please You. I pray that You bless me, that You sustain me through the tough times. That my faith will only be strengthened by You, that You will continue to show Yourself to me. Father...enable me to bring glory to Your Kingdom; rather than bring glory to myself...I know You are an awesome God, that You are the God, and that You have saved me. I need You now.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Only God Knows..(And I don't)
I feel like the biggest, most monumental thing that has happened since returning from Summer Beach Project would be nothing. I feel so unproductive. I am meeting with the Lord in His Word, but I long for conversations with fellow believers. I long for activities. It's kind of funny how much I wished to rest while at Project, and now, I'd rather be busy all the time. That bubble I was in...remarkable. Quite the culture shock when I returned to home.
I sure hope it's just boredom, but I am really looking forward to going back to school. I know that school will bring challenges, but it is where I want to be.
What will this year hold academically, only God knows. And, if friends shouldn't return to school this year...I have no control over that. I will miss them. I am in no way completely at peace with that, but the Lord knows what is best for them, me, and our school.
The Lord knows what's best. Even better is the lesson that I have a hard time learning; the only consistency in my life is Christ. Outside of Him and left up to my emotions...it's up and down from day to day, month to month, and most certainly year to year.
Father, I wish I could be constantly fulfilled in You enough that I wouldn't wish I was at a different place in my life. That, where You have me, is the best place for me to be. And fill my life with You, so that I am not trying to find life outside of You, because You are LIFE. I pray that I will gain courage to face my days as they come, and not look ahead to a time when it will be simpler or easier.
Listen to some Mayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8_Y_1psB6g&feature=related
I sure hope it's just boredom, but I am really looking forward to going back to school. I know that school will bring challenges, but it is where I want to be.
What will this year hold academically, only God knows. And, if friends shouldn't return to school this year...I have no control over that. I will miss them. I am in no way completely at peace with that, but the Lord knows what is best for them, me, and our school.
The Lord knows what's best. Even better is the lesson that I have a hard time learning; the only consistency in my life is Christ. Outside of Him and left up to my emotions...it's up and down from day to day, month to month, and most certainly year to year.
Father, I wish I could be constantly fulfilled in You enough that I wouldn't wish I was at a different place in my life. That, where You have me, is the best place for me to be. And fill my life with You, so that I am not trying to find life outside of You, because You are LIFE. I pray that I will gain courage to face my days as they come, and not look ahead to a time when it will be simpler or easier.
Listen to some Mayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8_Y_1psB6g&feature=related
Friday, July 23, 2010
Jesus Is My Life. ישו הוא בחיים שלי
So, coming off the best summer of my life, I have experienced Jesus Christ in many ways, and this blog has to contain all of that information, right?
Well, it's not that simple. I have learned way too much, and really, I will need time to process all of that. There are many things that distinctly stand out in how I have learned about our Savior though.
One is this prayer:
"9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
- 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
I read a book on that prayer right before Summer Beach Project ( ironically, I lost it at Summer Beach Project, I hope someone found it & prayed that to God). I never really tried to pray that verbatim, but I used it. I prayed that God would give me opportunities to share His gospel...and He did...within hours or minutes. I would pray for protection...and He provided it. I would pray for His blessing...and I am blessed every minute. Not saying that this prayer is the quick fix prayer, or "Prayer for dummies".
But, ultimately, God showed me this summer that anytime I want to do something that will glorify His Name or His Kingdom, God gives me an abundance of opportunities, and for some strange reason, He wishes to use me in His grand plan and in His Will.
Another thing I have seen is the description of who I am. It used to be this: "I love Christ and the Cross, I play music, I love music...I love John Mayer, The Killers, and alternative rock....I enjoy sports, and...". Now...
I count that all as loss!
It's not like I didn't love Jesus Christ, or that I was lost, it is simply that now, the only real joy, the only real love I hold is described in Christ. His Death, Resurrection, and Holy Spirit are my life. I know that all good things are from Christ Jesus, and my life is a living sacrifice.
Oh, how I love Jesus Christ.
I found a Psalm that says it all: " I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." - Psalm 16:2
Nothing. I have no good thing.
I have enjoyed the fellowship I was a part of at Summer Beach Project; maybe it's a sample of Heaven?
I wish I was back at Project, a day later I write this. But, my purpose for going was not for myself, but for the glory of Christ, and with this experience, I will be part of the Holy Spirit's change of Wingate University.
Father, thank you for bringing me to Summer Beach Project. The knowledge I have gained will only help me further Your Kingdom. I thank You for using others who spent time with me so that I may grow up in You. I thank You for the gospel of Your Son. And please, help me to die to myself, and be resurrected in You, and may I shine a light, that people will see myself as a life that is living for you. Thank You, Father.
Well, it's not that simple. I have learned way too much, and really, I will need time to process all of that. There are many things that distinctly stand out in how I have learned about our Savior though.
One is this prayer:
"9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
- 1 Chronicles 4:9-10
I read a book on that prayer right before Summer Beach Project ( ironically, I lost it at Summer Beach Project, I hope someone found it & prayed that to God). I never really tried to pray that verbatim, but I used it. I prayed that God would give me opportunities to share His gospel...and He did...within hours or minutes. I would pray for protection...and He provided it. I would pray for His blessing...and I am blessed every minute. Not saying that this prayer is the quick fix prayer, or "Prayer for dummies".
But, ultimately, God showed me this summer that anytime I want to do something that will glorify His Name or His Kingdom, God gives me an abundance of opportunities, and for some strange reason, He wishes to use me in His grand plan and in His Will.
Another thing I have seen is the description of who I am. It used to be this: "I love Christ and the Cross, I play music, I love music...I love John Mayer, The Killers, and alternative rock....I enjoy sports, and...". Now...
I count that all as loss!
It's not like I didn't love Jesus Christ, or that I was lost, it is simply that now, the only real joy, the only real love I hold is described in Christ. His Death, Resurrection, and Holy Spirit are my life. I know that all good things are from Christ Jesus, and my life is a living sacrifice.
Oh, how I love Jesus Christ.
I found a Psalm that says it all: " I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing." - Psalm 16:2
Nothing. I have no good thing.
I have enjoyed the fellowship I was a part of at Summer Beach Project; maybe it's a sample of Heaven?
I wish I was back at Project, a day later I write this. But, my purpose for going was not for myself, but for the glory of Christ, and with this experience, I will be part of the Holy Spirit's change of Wingate University.
Father, thank you for bringing me to Summer Beach Project. The knowledge I have gained will only help me further Your Kingdom. I thank You for using others who spent time with me so that I may grow up in You. I thank You for the gospel of Your Son. And please, help me to die to myself, and be resurrected in You, and may I shine a light, that people will see myself as a life that is living for you. Thank You, Father.
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